he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I need moral support for this bender
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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