I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
