I cannot find my penis.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Randomize
