So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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