Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
