You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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