evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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