To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
