Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
