You work out of a Hotel?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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