he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
this is an emotional support booty call
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
