he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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