So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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