dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
