And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
