It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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