Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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