How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
