its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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