Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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