so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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