alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just found a bag of teeth...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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