Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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