i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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