the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
