his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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