we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
