she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
