maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
