Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
