rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
