Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
