I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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