I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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