Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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