Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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