Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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