Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
