You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
