Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
