with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
