Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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