so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
