so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
