You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
