i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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