Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
