I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
