you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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