Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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