you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
