She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
