Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize