He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
