I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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