so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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