fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
