escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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