Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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