Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i think i have two assholes
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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