He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
