If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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