You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
