I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize