careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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