Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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