What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal