Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.

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(409): View more from Texas

so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister

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(516): View more from New York

everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...

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(219): View more from Indiana

I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry

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(541): View more from Oregon

I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.

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(248): View more from Michigan

The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.

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