Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?

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(573): View more from Missouri

i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.

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(703): View more from Virginia

how do you have sooo much energy?

(571): View more from Virginia

billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week

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(410): View more from Maryland

Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience

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(281): View more from Texas

The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk

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(469): View more from Texas

I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.

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(425): View more from Washington

I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.

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