Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you