Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Is it normal to miss your booty call?

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  (650): Is it normal to miss your booty call? http://tfl.nu/3d60
  Replies (9) Good night (815) Bad night (1220)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then give me ur phone

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  NEVER!!

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  (434): u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it (1-434): but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text (434): then give me ur phone (1-434): NEVER!! http://tfl.nu/jzom
  Replies (3) Good night (1215) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.

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  (650): Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low. http://tfl.nu/on4s
  Replies (13) Good night (1199) Bad night (3258)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.

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  (702): Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies. http://tfl.nu/viog
  Replies (7) Good night (3862) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"

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  (406): I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money" http://tfl.nu/7mg6
  Replies (13) Good night (4992) Bad night (1256)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"

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  (440): Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little" http://tfl.nu/17w7
  Replies (6) Good night (3248) Bad night (888)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.

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  (502): All I need is the Internet and a place to drink. http://tfl.nu/np52
  Replies (1) Good night (1558) Bad night (1020)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.

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  (504): Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later. http://tfl.nu/kqj9
  Replies (9) Good night (1577) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told you I would

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend

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  (931): I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me. (480): I told you I would (931): I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend http://tfl.nu/o3w2
  Replies (7) Good night (2199) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think they're German

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just say lederhosen and see what happens

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  (513): I think they're German (203): Just say lederhosen and see what happens http://tfl.nu/u5tp
  Replies (8) Good night (1478) Bad night (546)
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  (760): View more from California

  I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

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  (760): I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/rhvf
  Replies (23) Good night (2000) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.

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  (203): In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window. http://tfl.nu/vk8f
  Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.

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  (989): But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal. http://tfl.nu/lvxj
  Replies (1) Good night (347) Bad night (206)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.

  (941): View more from Florida

  Oh at the liquor store again?

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  (954): I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board. (941): Oh at the liquor store again? http://tfl.nu/01vl
  Replies (0) Good night (535) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!

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  (501): When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out! http://tfl.nu/jsom
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (270)

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