bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
