i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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