Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
